Focusing

Work is one of those things that must be done in order to get some place or to move forward. The problem for me is that I don't find motivation until I'm approaching the end of some specified time table.(ie. a due date) I find that my procrastination is both my greatest strength and weakness. When there is an external stress I achieve more in less time and essentially my mind is more efficient. Now what my goal is to combine my focusing power with a weaker tendency of mine planning. I can find the effort to do work unless I'm pushed. Over the next few weeks my goal will be to put a deadline on all of my work, but two days earlier than the provided date. This is an old trick one of my writing professors mentioned. The thought seems to be good, because for me and like most other people we can't seem to utilize time without out certain deadlines. I liken it to setting your watch or car time to 5mins earlier than is the reality, because your always 5min early. The problem is that you can't really ever trick yourself unless your drunk or you ask someone else to do it, but you give them specific details on how to alter the clocks around you. Like having them do it a few weeks from the time the idea spawned so this way you will truly be tricked. For me if I say something like that though, I remember what I ask of people and then I'm expecting it and then I can't be tricked. To evade this problem all together I will attempt to create time for specific things and use this funny thing called a schedule, but not a written one just a focus of thought on specific times so that when I may come to those times I will know what has to be done. This is a conscious choice and to do so is to conform to all the worlds bs, because with these boundaries comes inadequacies. In order to have order we need structure and time tables, but there lies the contradiction. We both require and despise time, because without it we don't achieve work and with it we feel limited. So I will use the time honored system and see how far it gets me. My goal is to become a more focused person and in doing so I will be a more efficient homo sapien.

Getting crazy

I want killer abs and I'm willing to work for it. My goal is to be shredded within 3 months and I'm using my friend phil as a time table, because he just left and he will be back in exactly 3 months. I started out with a circuit technique doing 3 different ab workouts consecutively for 30 sec. each. I found that doing this gave me a solid burn, but after like 3 days it wore off and so I'm moving on to new more challenging techniques. I tried the legendary 8min abs and found, which left my neck and lower back in shambles. All the while the guy in the video is saying, your back and neck won't hurt and your gonna be fine. The next two days were pain, but not in a good way. The only thing that really hurt and left a lasting pain was my neck. Every morning I would wake up with this kink in the side of my neck ahhwh. It killed! In only a week and a half that began to sees and I was doing fine, but the workout seemed to be falling. So today I went on youtube.com and found a 15min 3 segment workout(tougher abs) and it killed me. Then after doing that I decided I should try to do 8min abs too and omg now I'm dead. I brought my gut to the edge. I'll be fine, but I wish I could do more right now. We live in an age of instant satisfaction so give me the abs I want now. The reality of all of this is that you need to work hard forever to get what you want. Time+effort=Results and that's what I'm going for the results. Over the next few months you will see me metamorphasize into a juggernaut of abdominal triumph. I'm going to post some pick of the change, but only in sequence and only at the end of every month so if your interested you can follow the progress.

End to a means

Day one of my very first, very exciting, very new blog. For me this is interesting, because normally I don't share thoughts with anyone, but phil, sarah, and other immediate family. So the fact that I'm expressing myself in this manor creates a sense of positive change within me. I don't have a good reason for even deciding to do this other than my best man phil. He motivates me to change in a good way. I need change in my life especially now, because I'm at a point in my life when things are just going and the motions seem monotonous. I live at home, I learn myself at sunyit, I work myself to the bone at a distribution center, and this is supposed to be the best time of my life. What am I missing? It must be something rather important, if I'm wasting my time talking to a wall. School is stagnating for me because it's only going to get me a general studies degree. Woweee that gets me like a management position at like mcD's. The whole thing is a wash. The Suny system is bullshit and it doesn't always work for the students it operates more like a business. Give me your money and I'll give you your green card. We'll in my perspective school shouldn't be something we slave over and agonize about. It should be a place to expand thought and instill peace of mind. In my experience if you transfer for school to school you get fucked so just don't do it unless you need to. My situation is simple but shitty. I graduated from hccc w/ an gen stud major. Then I moved to buffalo state and studied biology, which sucked but it's where I found my place (business) and finally I moved back to attend sunyit. All of these colleges have affiliation with the suny system +simple OK- NOT, because sunyit denied like 60+ credits and all were well above C+ so what the F is that. Over the ensueing weeks I waged war and won sort of. I moved from a bus. major to a gen. studies major and i'm back at square one again. Well isn't that just a cluster FK. Rather than waste tons of money on another year I just took a summer course and a course overload of a semester and now I graduate on time and without additional expense, but I don't get what I want. So in order to feel any satisfaction about my life path at current I must accept everything that I can't change and work on what is relevant. At the moment that is a 15 pg paper on technological utopia/distopia. OK well that's fun. No but seriously it might actually be ok, because my topic is nanotech and that's better than basket weaving. This all might be rubbish, but it's what I'm currently thinking and I think this is how blogs go. You write what you want at a given moment to relieve yourself of it. So here I am take it or leave it. Josh M Edwards.